Immortals Trailer: How to Market a Really Polished Turd

As 2011 winds down and temperatures drop, movie studios know that their business is about to heat up. The dog days of late summer/fall are over, and now it's time to roll out the big holiday season moneymakers.

With advertising campaigns already in full swing (and before we look at Santa Clause 9: Rudolph's Payday), we take a glance at Immortals, which is due out November 11.

The Synopsis:

After watching both the first official trailer (above) and the first TV spot, it's pretty easy to gather what the movie is about.

This is likely due to the ridiculous amount of exposition crammed into the 60-second commercial, with both a voiceover AND dramatic text clueing you in on the stakes of the film. The Wikipedia version:

After the Gods have defeated the Titans, Hyperion (Mickey Rourke) declares war on humanity. He searches for the Epirus Bow, a legendary weapon created by the war god Ares (Daniel Sharman), which will allow him to free the rest of the Titans from Tartarus and take revenge on the Olympians who brought about their downfall. In accordance with ancient laws, the gods are unable to take a side in the war between Hyperion and humanity. It is left to a peasant named Theseus (Henry Cavill), chosen by Zeus (Luke Evans) and accompanied by the priestess Phaedra (Freida Pinto) and a slave (Stephen Dorff), to protect his homeland and save the gods. [3]

What we think:

Basically, it's just an excuse to have a bunch of people kill a bunch of other people in increasingly brutal ways (In 3D!), likely while glistening/glowing/generally looking awesome. Since they couldn't call it 301 (same producers--the biggest shock of the trailer), we've swapped Sparta for Olympia, and Gerard Butler for future Superman Henry Cavill.

Other than that, it looks more or less the same. [4] The visual style will be arresting, and the action sequences will be insane, and it appears from the trailer there will be at least one slo-mo sex scene to totally kill the film's momentum. [5]

With a $75 million budget, this movie better wrinkle my brain. The cast, led by the aforementioned Cavill also features extremely leathery Mickey Rourke and a glowing Freida Pinto.

Our conclusion:

Even though this movie looks like garbage, it's almost guaranteed to be a hit. 13 year-olds will have their lives changed (the violence and breasts will have this being touted as the BEST MOVIE EVER by the class of 2017), people will enjoy the mindless violence, and good ole Leatherface will scare kids who are too young to see it anyway. Here's hoping they leave it open for a sequel!

--Matthew Ludtke

[3] Yeah, I didn?t give a shit either.
[4] Let me put it this way: If 300 fucked Clash of the Titans, this would be their baby.
[5] One can only hope it?s as ridiculous as 300?s was.


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Posted a while ago

From Mahernoz Daruwala 11/11/11 4:07pm
the guy who made the trailer, should have made the movie instead.